somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
