i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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