you have to choose: penises or morals?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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