Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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