this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I said "one day" and that day is not today
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
