She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize