I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
