I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
