fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Randomize
