so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
