You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
