Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
