4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
