Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
