I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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