well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
