I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
