even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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