We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
