i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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