I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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