Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize