I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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