literally had 100 drinks last night.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
