he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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