10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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