in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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