He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
soo... how was my night?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize