i barfeds in our rink
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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