At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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