Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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