he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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