So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i dont even know how to be here
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
