She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
