Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
