Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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