on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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