Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
