I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
