Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
