You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
