I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
