we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
