I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
