Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
