Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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