I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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