i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize