I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
