I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
