My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
