her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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