somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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