Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
