just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
