idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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