I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
