ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
love makes seman taste better
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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