I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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