Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize