What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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