Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
