Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
