i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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