Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Randomize
